Getting To Date Number Two
submitted: May 6th 2008 |
by: PamBaldwin
Total views: 7 |
Word Count: 526 |
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Initially your goal shouldn't be to get a second date. It should be to get to know the other person and then decide if you even want a second date. If your date has an agreeable personality then they are probably going to want a second date anyway.
Meeting someone in person that you met online is a little different though. Once you get to know someone online and decide to meet in person then that is actually your second date. Getting to that first in person meeting is the same as getting the second date.
But how do you project that normal and likeable personality? And how do you forge an emotional connection? The first trick is: be yourself. Not the nervous, stammer-y guy or girl you may be around strangers, but your best self. The way you're relaxed around friends. There's a lot of forgiveness for nervousness on first dates, but there's a lot more to be said for confidence.
Be confident but not so overconfident it puts people off to you. In order to develop that level of confidence you must first succeed in those situations where you must exude that confidence. That's where the problem is. If you aren't successful in those situations then it becomes extremely tough to be confident in them. The best thing to do is fake it until you do develop that confidence. The first few times you try it you may be freaking out in your head but keep your composure and play it off. Keep anything self destructive you might say about yourself to yourself and it will work out much better. After a few successful attempts it will get easier each time.
Now, that's just how to act normal. To become likeable you have to be able to admit your short comings and not become defensive if they are brought up. On the other hand you don't want to put them in the spot light either. If they do come up at some point show your sense of humor by making a small joke about it and move on. If your date tends to focus on them throughout the duration of your date then you probably don't want to ask them on a second anyway.
Don't always expect fireworks with the first meeting. Emotional connections are easily spotted but not always so easily forged. If you and your date make eye contact with ease and have aspects in common then you know you are developing one.
Ending the evening at the high point is crucial in getting the second date. This leaves your date wanting to spend more time with you. That right there is the true key to getting the second date.
Don't be so afraid of making a mistake that you make up lame excuses to leave when it's going good either. This can make you seem uninterested. Set a time limit for your date and stick to it. If it's going extraordinarily well then stick with it as long as you can.
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